A little bit of taking sexy pics and videos can do wonders for a relationship. But, if you’re a little shy about idea or have trouble verbalizing your desires to your partner, you can ease into this together with some communication and patience.

And it’s more than just fun—spicy nudes can have a positive influence on relationships because it allows you to explore feelings of sexual closeness with your s/o and have a romantic experience with hot memories to look back on.

Of course, like most things in life, there are valid concerns with taking NSFW photos. Recently, I asked my Instagram followers to share some of their worries and hesitations. Here are some of my favorites:

“What if our kids find out about our photos?”

“I’m worried about privacy and don’t want anyone to know about our photos.”

“Having work colleagues or my boss finding out.”

“Worried our photos wouldn’t turn out hot because we’re not super fit/models.”

“I can’t pose in a sexy position to save my life.”

“I could never be that intimate in front of a camera/photographer.”

“What if our photos get leaked?”

So it’s understandable that you might find the idea of taking nudes a little daunting. If you feel comfortable enough to bring the topic up, give them the benefit of the doubt and use the following tips to navigate new frontiers with your sexual partner:

Choose the Right Time & Keep the Convo Curious:

Timing absolutely matters. Find a time when both of you are relaxed, sober, and free from distraction. Maybe you start the convo during a date night, find a moment when the kids are asleep, or offer your s/o a massage and bring up the topic. Casually introduce, “I’ve been thinking about something lately and would love to share it with you. Is now a good time to talk?”
Sometimes initiating the idea of taking spicy photos can be a little awkward, so try easing into it by asking questions like ‘When’s the last time you’ve taken a sexy photo of yourself?’ or ‘What’s the hottest pic or video of us in your camera roll?’ or ‘Remember when you used to send me nudes back in college?’ Just like a good conversation, the more questions you ask, the more interesting it’s likely to be.
Avoid bringing up the idea in stressful situations or tense moments.

Be Clear & Concise yet Casual:

Clearly state your idea without beating it around the bush.
This is where you can bring up your fantasy and desire while including your partner into the idea. Especially if you found a professional photographer to potentially hire, this is the best opportunity to say you’ve found someone. Use this chance to show them my website which will help involve your partner in the idea. You’ve encouraged and hopefully empowered them with your fun, sexy idea!

Use “I” Statements & Be Descriptive:

Express your feelings and desires by using phrases like “I think” or “I feel” to make it clear that you’re sharing your perspective.
The more specific and descriptive you can be, the more you’ll be able to send your partner’s imagination running wild. Stuck on what to say? “I’ve been considering the idea of us taking naughty photos together. I think it could be a great way for us to have fun and spice up our relationship.”
Focus on what you want, not what is “lacking”. You’re setting the space up to be a safe, open, and intimate conversation not a place to manipulate or coerce.

Provide Context & Actively Listen:

Give some background as to why this is important to you. Explain how this could be fun and exciting to you both.
Ask your partner, “How do you feel about taking nude photos together?” or “How do you feel about someone we trust to take our spicy photos?” Instead of saying “I wish we did more of X” try saying something like “I’m turned on by the idea of us doing Y. What do you think?”
Be prepared to hear their perspective and be open to compromise. There will most likely be follow up questions with concerns and worries which is totally okay. Support your partner in their wants and needs whether it’s positive or negative.
Be respectful and keep the conversation calm even if there are disagreements. Ask them to share with you what it is about this idea that interests them. If you find out that this isn't their kink, that's okay, but share that boundary with compassion. Try not to yuck on someone else's yum.

Be Mindful of Consent & Privacy:

Taking nude photos can be all fun and games until you break up, get a divorce, your kids find out, a co-worker or boss creeps a little too hard on your IG, or a photo was shared without consent. If you’re going to take sensitive photos of yourselves that you wouldn’t want appearing online or shown to other people, think about what you want to do with your content. If you have doubts, ask how should you protect and safely store the photos? Are you comfortable/not comfortable with sharing photos and videos? Will any of the content be posted on the internet and where? What happens to the photos if you break up? Can you trust the photographer to document, edit, and deliver the photos discreetly?
If you’re taking spicy photos together—or even erotic photos—make sure to listen to each other’s boundaries, what your both comfortable with, and what your both not comfortable with being documented. Consent is super important. Whether you’re taking your own spicy photos on a tripod or hiring someone to take them for you, it’s best to make sure everyone is on the same page before anything is documented or recorded.

Be Patient:

Be patient and give them time to process the idea and come back with their thoughts. After some time, revisit the conversation to see how your partner feels about the idea now. Boundaries can change over time, so be sure to keep the pathways to communicating them open.
Your partner might need a few weeks or several months (or however long) to make a decision. If this idea has been on your mind, let your partner in on it and give them time to warm up to the thought of taking spicy photos. They’ll either be so excited to try something new and spice up the relationship or you’ll at least have closure on the idea if they decide this isn’t for them.
Remember that some intimate desires can make you feel more vulnerable than others, and some can make you feel empowered; if there is anything that you’re not enthusiastic about, don’t feel pressured to do it for the benefit of another person.

Helpful Tip from a Couples Boudoir Photographer…

**hint hint** In my experience, out of all the inquiries I receive, I’ve yet to see it work out where someone reaches out to me without having the conversation with their significant other about taking professional spicy photos. However, I’ve noticed what does work is when couples first talk together which helps involve your partner in the idea and then reach out to me. This way you’ve empowered and encouraged them and now it’s a fun, sexy idea that you two thought of together!

Don’t assume this is something they want without talking to your partner first. **I emphasize the last part because this is one of the mistakes I’ve seen from couples in pursuing this idea**

After you and your partner have the conversation, maybe you’re on the fence about taking professional spicy photos. I’m happy to hop on a quick zoom call to get to know each other better and help answer any questions! There’s no pressure or rush to make an immediate decision. Fill out my contact form together and we’ll go from there!

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how to introduce your partner to the idea of taking spicy photos together